Friday, February 10, 2012

About Valentine's Day...

Robert Indiana Love Stamp
I have never really felt a huge pull toward Valentine's Day whether I was single or coupled up. However, tremendous pressure is placed on couples to properly perform their perceived respective retail duties and deliver the appropriate chocolates, flowers, lingerie and the like.  Don't get me wrong, I love receiving chocolate and flowers, but I just don't expect my husband to give them to me on that particular day. In fact, it means far more to me receiving them on any other day ("just because"), when it was really his idea- rather than one that felt forced on him. I realize that a great many people truly love and thoroughly enjoy Valentine's Day, and I think that is really wonderful. It is a great feeling to celebrate your love for each other, and hopefully one remembers to do that more than once a year!

What I find destructive is the unnecessary and insidious pressure that this holiday exerts on singles. Singles are made to feel as though they are imperfect halves longing to be made whole by becoming part of a couple. This makes Valentine's Day a holiday built on exclusion (and longing) rather than inclusion (and belonging), haves versus have-nots (read: halves verses halves-not). The romanticized notion of being completed by another person certainly means big money on February 14th each year, and retailers like See's Candy would certainly report lower yearly earnings if February 14th was just another day. I don't know about you, but I have never defined who I am by whether or not I was in a relationship. That has always seemed like a very dangerous way to evaluate my self-worth.

To this I say, It takes a hell of a man (woman) to take the place of no man (woman) at all!

And in the event that you are recently single then here's the best anthem to get you through it (and one of the BEST covers)!


  1. A comment not about Valentine's Day:

    Lola (I like calling you that, even though it's not your name.), I have Cake's "I Will Survive" on my running mix. It served me well when I was training for a half marathon! :) Note to self: start exercising again.

    1. I Love it!!!!!! I love Cake!! What a perfect anthem for getting through a run- let alone training for a half marathon!!!!!!!!! <3


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