Saturday, September 29, 2012

Rest in Peace, My Beloved Emma September 1997- September 29, 2012

Emma was the sweetest kitty, and an amazingly resilient girl. We spent 15 great years together- 11 of which she was an insulin dependent diabetic, but it really didn't slow her down. In the last year she developed thyroid disease as well,  and as a result her little body began to fail her. While she was regulated by medications, her body began to give way under the weight of her diseases- which also began to impact her kidney function.
Emma had the loudest purr that I have ever heard, and she announced her happiness and joy with her lyrical little voice all of the time as well. She decided that she loved my niece's pink chair (which was destined for a yard sale) so it sat in our house until she lost interest in it.
Emma didn't want her daddy to go on a surf trip so she sat in protest on his board bag to make her point utterly clear. She knew the difference between an out of the country surf trip versus just going to the beach to surf on the weekends. She was a smart and tuned in kitty.
Emma loved hanging out in the backyard- even as she became more frail. She also never lost her voracious appetite- she could always eat most cats twice her size under the table. Even just two days ago she was pushing the other kitties away from their food to eat theirs as well!
To say that I feel gutted, having just lost my baby only a couple of hours ago, is an understatement of the highest order. I just keep wandering around the house aimlessly- tearful and hollow. I somehow feel as though I will find her sleeping in one of her favorite spots, but instead I'm greeted by a silence and an absence that leaves me without any comfort. I realize that I am so lucky to have shared 15 great years with this wonderful little soul, but somehow even that knowledge does little to soothe my broken heart. My dearest sweetest Emma- I loved you the moment our eyes met at the shelter, and with each passing day I loved you more than the one before and less than the one that followed. I will forever miss you.  >^..^<

51 comments:

  1. I am so sorry for your loss, Lola. She was a beautiful girl. And let me say that I truly know what you are feeling right now. Yesterday, we said goodbye to our dear Arthur, who was 14 and who had also lived the last portion of his life as an insulin-dependent diabetic. Although we knew the day was coming, it didn't make it easy to see him pass. Warm hugs and affection from our family- feline and human- to yours.

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    1. Oh Kate, I am so sorry to hear that you are experiencing what I am experiencing as well. I wouldn't wish this on anyone, ever. My heart is completely broken. Perhaps Emma and Arthur are now running in a meadow without any of the encumbrances of a body taxed by disease. My heart breaks for your loss. We also knew this day was coming, but it somehow didn't prepare us for its arrival. I keep flashing back to when Emma was a little kitten, and so healthy. It's hard to imagine that little baby dying yesterday. Of course I take great comfort in knowing that she had a very happy life with us for 15 years, but I will always miss her and wish that we had more time. Much love and affection from my family to yours as well! xxoo

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  2. She sounds wonderful. You were both so fortunate to share each other's lives. RIP.

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    1. HI Erycina, Thank you so much for your kind words. Emma was a delightful and loving kitty, and I am, indeed blessed and better for having known and loved her. I just wish that I had more time with that special little soul! xx

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  3. Aw, I'm sorry. Losing a pet you love that much is like losing a family member! Feel better soon.

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    1. Hi Krystal, Thank you so much for your kind words. Losing a pet is definitely losing a family member, and that grief is profound and consuming. It is just so sad that their lifespans are so short relative to ours since our love is so deep! xx

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  4. Sorry to hear about Emma, RIP! Thanks for sharing her sweet story!

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    1. Thank you so much, Rola! You are welcome-- I wish that you could have met her-- she was truly special. xx

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  5. Oh Helen, I am SO sincerely sorry for your loss. I can't begin to image what you must be feeling and going through right now. I know nothing that I say can ease the tremendous sadness you are feeling right now, but just know that we all love you and are here for you. If you want to talk, email me! I am an animal lover as well so I do understand the loss of a pet is truly heartbreaking. Please take care and know that you will be in my thoughts!

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    1. My sweetest Becca-- thank you so very much. Your love, compassion and friendship means the world to me-- truly! It is nice to feel surrounded by love when I feel like I have been kicked in the heart so hard that it has knocked the wind out of me. Your friendship is very treasured! xoxo

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  6. Oh, Lola I'm so sorry. *hugs* There just are no words...

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    1. Thank you so much, lov2read68! I appreciate the hug-- can't quite get enough of them right now! xxoo

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  7. Oh no :-( So sad! ((hugs)) and sweet kitty prayers for Emma.

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    1. Thank you, Olivia!! It is so sad-- and the world isn't quite as great a place without my sweet Emma in it. I keep thinking that she's going to walk into the room and demand that I open the door so that she can lounge in the backyard. :( xx

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  8. Dear Lola,

    I am so very sorry for the loss of your dear Emma. I know first hand how much she was loved and my heart hurts for your pain and sadness. In my experience, nothing but a significant amount of time can lessen the grief of losing a beloved pet. In the meanwhile, I will pray dear friend that you can find solace in the fact that you provided her with an incredibly loving home and an extremely happy existence. You were a blessing to her as much as she was a blessing to you.

    Sending my love and true sympathy and empathy.

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    1. Hi sweetie! Thank you for your loving words. You indeed have been privy to all of my recent signs of worry about Emma-- and I feel blessed for our friendship. No matter what else was going on-- you have always asked about Emma and prayed for her good health-- and for all of that I thank you from the bottom of my heart. While you are quite right that nothing lessens my grief- feeling such an outpouring of love and support gives me an emotional safety-net when I feel so distraught over my loss. I feel somewhat selfish to be so focussed on my own pain and response to her absence-- when I know that it was clearly time for her to go otherwise she would no longer have any quality of life. I am just still in shock and disbelief because it came so quickly and she has only been gone for 24 hours. It's just hard to imagine that she really is gone. xxoo

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  9. I'm so sorry for your loss. :( I can't even imagine the pain of losing a pet.

    Sounds like Emma was a wonderful cat who lived a happy life with you. Thanks for sharing her story.

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    1. Thank you, Arianna! I hope that you don't ever have to imagine this feeling!! Emma was a wonderful cat indeed-- thank you for taking the time to read about her life-- it is really lovely to have so many people honor her life, and feel my grief. Thanks so much for your compassion. <3

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  10. I'm so sorry, honey. Death of a pet is not an easy thing at all. Take extra good care of yourself right now. xo Christine

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    1. Thank you so much, Christine. It's definitely not an easy thing at all-- heartbreak is heartbreak, and grief is grief-- and any way that you look at it- it is awful to experience!! I'm trying to take care of myself, but we both seem to be more like zombies from the shock of it. It's just hard to get myself to actually believe that it happened! xxoo

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  11. Oh Lola. I'm so sorry for your loss. *hug*
    You did Emma proud with this tribute.
    I wish I could have met her.

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    1. My sweetest friend-- thank you so much. Your hug and love is truly appreciated-- right now especially!I'm glad that you think that i did Emma proud in my tribute to her- I just keep feeling as though I haven't done enough to commemorate her life, and I miss her so much that I can barely stand the pain of slowly realizing that she really is gone. I wish that you could have met her as well-- she was a very special little soul. xoxox

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  12. I am truly sorry. I had fifteen beautiful years with my dog, and when she died, I was devastated. I can relate to that feeling of being home and expecting to find your loved one curled up in a favorite spot. I felt the hardest part was the loss of that very strong bond I have yet to find within any human. I am so sorry for your loss. Emma must have been a very special, wonderful soul:)

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    1. Thank you so very much from the bottom of my heart. I know exactly what you mean-- and this type of bond makes the loss all the more devastating. I'm so sorry for your loss-- expecting to find your sweet friend in one of her favorite spots really is a devastating blow when you realize that she will never occupy her favorite places again. Animals love without any of the conditions that humans place on their act of loving another-- this is probably one of the purest types of love that one can experience in a lifetime! Emma really was a wonderful soul-- thank you so much for helping me honor her life- it means far more to me than words can adequately express. :)

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  13. I'm sorry for your loss as well. I spent about four years with my cat Eien, and one day he just disappeared. Four years is nowhere near fifteen, but to this day I keep expecting to see him just around the corner.

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    1. Oh Aviva, thank you so much! I'm so sorry for your loss of Eien- my heart hurts for your loss! I hope that one day Eien reappears! xxoo

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    1. Thank you my very sweet and treasured friend! <3

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  15. Very sad news :( cats are amazing cratures...

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    1. Thank you, De Mon. Cats are indeed amazing creatures, and Emma was among the most special that i have had the pleasure of knowing! xxoo

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  16. I am so sorry for your loss. Emma sounds like she was a very special furbaby. I'm pretty sure that even towards the end, she knew how much you love her! Hang in there... *hug*

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    1. Thank you so much! She really was a very special girl. You are right- the one thing that she knew was how much I loved her, and how completely devoted that I was to her. Thanks so much for the hug and words of support-- I really truly appreciate it! <3

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  17. Oh Lola she was beautiful! Again I'm so sorry but you have wonderful memories of her and in time it will help ease the hurt but for now go ahead and grieve your wonderful baby but remember she is now free of any of her illnesses and chasing butterflies on the other side of the Rainbow Bridge.

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    1. Thank you so much, Connie! Your words are like a soothing tincture. Being reminded to feel and grieve is a lovely thing to verbalize, and it is really healing to hear (read) your words. I keep imagining her running around with Sebastian and Luca (my two kitties who died 2 weeks and 1 day apart a couple of years ago). It is one of the only things that gives me any measure of comfort in the midst of my shock and grief. These losses are just incalculable. Thank you again for your kindness! xoxox

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  18. You wrote a beautiful tribute to Emma. I know how difficult it is but eventually you'll just have a smile and a warm spot that glows in your heart when you think of her. She was lucky to have you two for her family.

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    1. Thank you so much, Marcia! I look forward to the day that I can just be happy when I think about her instead of unconsolable as I am presently! We were the lucky ones!

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  19. I'm so sorry about you loss, Lola, but I'm really glad that you wrote about Emma for us. It is so difficult to lose a family member, and I send you lots of hugs! xo

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    1. Thank you so much, Moxie! It makes me so happy that you are glad that I shared my sweet Emma's life-- she deserved to have everyone know about her life, and that it really meant something! You are exactly right-- she was a family member and her death has left a gaping hole in our family. Thank you so much for your sensitivity and hugs!! <3

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  20. Lola, again, I am so sorry for your loss. I teared up reading this. Ours is a shelter kitty as well and had a very rough life prior to us. I look at her now and i know she is happy. That being said, I am positive that Emma lived a very happy and loved life. I have gone throuh this before, and while the next week or so will be difficult, youll adjust and you will never forget her. More hugs and happy thoughts sent your way.

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  21. Lola, again, I am so sorry for your loss. I teared up reading this. Ours is a shelter kitty as well and had a very rough life prior to us. I look at her now and i know she is happy. That being said, I am positive that Emma lived a very happy and loved life. I have gone throuh this before, and while the next week or so will be difficult, youll adjust and you will never forget her. More hugs and happy thoughts sent your way.

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    1. Thank you so much Kristen! How lucky your kitty is to have found you!!!! Rescues who had a rough start are so grateful when they find their loving forever home! Emma definitely lived a happy life and she knew how much and how deeply we loved her. You are right-- this is part is the most difficult when the pain is so acute and there is still so much disbelief about her actually being gone. Thanks so much for the words of comfort, hugs, and happy thoughts-- they are most appreciated! xxoo <3

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  22. I'm so sorry about your loss. A special cat like Emma must have been a dear lovely friend. Hugs and kisses to you.

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    1. Thank you, Bellyhead! She was indeed a dear lovely friend. Thanks for the hugs and kisses. Your kind words are most appreciated. xx

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  23. *Hugs* I am so sorry for your loss :'( Knowing I just experience the loss of my Mocha bear and now reading about your poor kitten, Emma, I'm crying again. I'm crying not just because of the sadness of her passing, but I'm also shedding tears at the beauty of how well loved she was by you & what a blessing you have been to her.
    Thank you for sharing this beautiful tribute of Emma with us. RIP Emma

    XOXOXOX Naomi

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    1. Oh Naomi-- Thank you so much! I have been thinking about you so much, and hoping that you are doing as well as can be expected after the loss of your beloved Mocha bear!!! I'm still in complete shock, and feel pretty hollow and gutted from losing my beloved baby. It's just so hard to get it into my head that she's actually gone. Thank you for your tears and compassion-- I have shed them for your beloved Mocha as well. Thank you so much for your kind words-- you have such a big and beautiful heart to feel my loss while in the midst of your own. Thank you, dear friend!

      xoxoxoxoxoxox <3

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  24. Oh, goodness...I am so sorry you lost your little lovely one...my thoughts are with you, and I hope you can take some comfort in her wonderful memories :-)

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    1. Thanks so much, Gummy! It has definitely been very rough going through this! I appreciate your kind words! <3

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  25. As I sit at work distracted by the disbelief that Emma is actually gone- all I seem to do is constantly fight back my tears that flow all too easily. In the midst of my need to work, and to grieve- I find solace by revisiting all of your kind and loving words. Thank you from the bottom of my heart-- you are simply extraordinarily thoughtful, generous, kind, and compassionate people! xoxox

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  26. omg, Lola, I am so sorry for your loss. I know how you feel, I lost my cat some years ago and it was such a hard time. I wish you all the best <3 big kisses and hugs :* / Claire

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    1. Thank you so much Claire! I really appreciate you reaching out. It has been very touch dealing with Emma's death. I definitely look forward to the time when I can just smile when I think of her, rather than crying all of the time! I'm sorry that have experienced this type of loss as well-- it's so painful! THank you so much for your hugs and kisses-- I really appreciate it! :-)

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